Things You Miss Travellin’ w/Others

We’re at that breathless moment before the new year begins. For many of us, the holidays involve travel, it certainly does for me and maybe for you too. Do NOT get me wrong, I love my family. I love travelling with them and some of my best memories involve roadtrips. You pile into a car and hit the interstate.

I’m just sayin’, there are some advantages of rollin’ down the road at the wheel, alone.  When you travel with others for business or pleasure, every person gets a consideration; it’s too hot, too cold, wrong music, wrong road, stop now, all that and a bag o’ chips. Here’s what you miss travellin’ with others:

1) Dawdling and poking around. See a cool side road or a weird roadside stand? Just hit the brakes, take a turn, groove on the new vibe. Awesome.

2) Take the long, interesting way. I’ve travelled I-35 for decades, time to go the little county roads, stop at the dives, wave at cattle, eat watermelon till the juice runs off your elbows. Say “howdy ma’am, I’m the big shot from the big city in my fancy city car”.

3) Be the interesting mystery guy at the truckstop counter quietly sipping coffee; well-dressed, perhaps ruggedly handsome in an old guy sort of way, but with a look in your eye that says “don’t mind my somber look, I’m just wrestling with some secret sorrow”. Sometimes people buy you coffee if you can pull off this look.

4) Unorthodox food choices. When travelling with family, we always stop at the same places. Who doesn’t want to taste exotic jerky once in a while? How about vegan steak? Southern fried tofu ain’t so bad, so what if it’s sold out of the back of a pickup truck by some rustic rural character? You only live once.

5) Perfecting whoops and hollers. We don’t whoop or holler enough, I don’t, certainly. Neither the office nor home provide ample opportunity for this neglected talent. Alone at the wheel? Whoop your brains out. Holler. Loud! It’s problem-free unless you pass a small town cop, who’ll pull you over, but will release you since you’re city folk, and thus odd behavior is expected.

6) One sided imaginary conversations where YOU always have the last word. I see folks doing this in the city, and it’s very unbecoming. If you have something to say to someone, tell them directly. Except if you’re travelling alone, and out of town. I’ve straightened out family members, co-workers, employers, leaders of all stripes, and various spiritual entitites, and I always had the last word, all in the solitary safety and comfort of my car. It’s very therapeutic.

7) Alternate driving postures. Warning: I am not endorsing unsafe driving postures, but slouch if you want to slouch. Sit sideways. Go “vroom vroom” and pretend to shift gears like a rockstar. Too much of this travelling with others, and your companions will be looking for a roadside mental health facility.

That’s it, drive safely kids-the life you save may be my own. Peace!

Cary Branscum

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One response to “Things You Miss Travellin’ w/Others

  1. You left out the joyful rotation of drinking super big gulps and challenging yourself to make it to hygienically acceptable facilitiies.

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