My notes from “He’s not that Into You”

I teach groups about growing relationships, and I use a lot of resources. One of the books that made a splash a few years ago is “He’s Not That Into You” by Greg Behrendt. While I don’t use it as a primary resource, I did take the following notes on the book, many of them seem to ring true. Hope these notes are helpful for your own thinking and observations on relationships.


A man will go after what he wants,  A man will try to get what he wants. Men find it satisfying to get what they want. If a man wants you, he will find you. Guy don’t mind messing up a friendship for physical stuff. 

When a guy is into you, he will let you know it, he calls, shows up, wants to meet your friends. Men are uncomplicated. Men would rather die than say “you are not the one” (this one is extremely tough for women to understand, but it’s true).

If we are excited about someone, we can’t stop ourselves. When man want you, they do the work. Men KNOW the women they like, period. 

Some men will let women do all the work. Some men want a woman to carry them like their mother did. Some men use forward women, and let themselves off the hook. Men never ever ever ever forget how much they like you, or don’t like you.

Men would rather wait till the end of time to give you bad news. Men do what they do because they want to, they Choose to do it. Men feel pity for pathetic women.Men want to spend time with women they like. Period

Men apologize when they value the relationship.Men will tell women what they want to hear. Men who say they are “busy” just mean they are too busy for you.

A man who is into you, wants you all to himself. If he is willing to share you with someone else, he doesn’t want you very much. Men will stay in a relationship they are unhitched to emotionally, if the relationship meets other needs they have.

Women want to be wanted, called, made to feel sexy, and desired fully. Men want to keep things vague with women they’re not into. Guys are simple. They want simple things; they like people, or they don’t. They are happy or not, with life in general, and people and things specifically.

Guys will let women do as much as they will do in the relationship. “Fear of intimacy” is a lie. Men want to touch the women they like. Period. People tell us who they are, all the time.

Do you feel truly loved? Yes or No?  Do you feel committed? Yes or no?

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