We’re at that breathless moment before the new year begins. For many of us, the holidays involve travel, it certainly does for me and maybe for you too. Do NOT get me wrong, I love my family. I love travelling with them and some of my best memories involve roadtrips. You pile into a car and hit the interstate.

I’m just sayin’, there are some advantages of rollin’ down the road at the wheel, alone.  When you travel with others for business or pleasure, every person gets a consideration; it’s too hot, too cold, wrong music, wrong road, stop now, all that and a bag o’ chips. Here’s what you miss travellin’ with others:

1) Dawdling and poking around. See a cool side road or a weird roadside stand? Just hit the brakes, take a turn, groove on the new vibe. Awesome.

2) Take the long, interesting way. I’ve travelled I-35 for decades, time to go the little county roads, stop at the dives, wave at cattle, eat watermelon till the juice runs off your elbows. Say “howdy ma’am, I’m the big shot from the big city in my fancy city car”.

3) Be the interesting mystery guy at the truckstop counter quietly sipping coffee; well-dressed, perhaps ruggedly handsome in an old guy sort of way, but with a look in your eye that says ”don’t mind my somber look, I’m just wrestling with some secret sorrow”. Sometimes people buy you coffee if you can pull off this look.

4) Unorthodox food choices. When travelling with family, we always stop at the same places. Who doesn’t want to taste exotic jerky once in a while? How about vegan steak? Southern fried tofu ain’t so bad, so what if it’s sold out of the back of a pickup truck by some rustic rural character? You only live once.

5) Perfecting whoops and hollers. We don’t whoop or holler enough, I don’t, certainly. Neither the office nor home provide ample opportunity for this neglected talent. Alone at the wheel? Whoop your brains out. Holler. Loud! It’s problem-free unless you pass a small town cop, who’ll pull you over, but will release you since you’re city folk, and thus odd behavior is expected.

6) One sided imaginary conversations where YOU always have the last word. I see folks doing this in the city, and it’s very unbecoming. If you have something to say to someone, tell them directly. Except if you’re travelling alone, and out of town. I’ve straightened out family members, co-workers, employers, leaders of all stripes, and various spiritual entitites, and I always had the last word, all in the solitary safety and comfort of my car. It’s very therapeutic.

7) Alternate driving postures. Warning: I am not endorsing unsafe driving postures, but slouch if you want to slouch. Sit sideways. Go “vroom vroom” and pretend to shift gears like a rockstar. Too much of this travelling with others, and your companions will be looking for a roadside mental health facility.

That’s it, drive safely kids-the life you save may be my own. Peace!

Cary Branscum

You really don’t have to listen. Seriously. Our time and culture provides constant babble, and folks like us have facebook, twitter, and easy ways to talk all the time thanks to blogs like this one. In fact, you shouldn’t listen to everybody, there’s not enough time and attention in the world for that.

Listening provides great personal benefits, and non-listeners miss out.  Non-listeners who obsess only about being heard will likely not be heard. Non-listeners have to stumble through life on their own, they have to reinvent the wheel every time they do anything. Non-listeners miss out on the accumulated experience of humanity.  

The value you give listening is up to you. I’ve spent a career listening, and it is indeed awesome. It’s made my life deeper and richer, and it’s a skill I work on daily. 

Here’s 5 Things That Work For Me:

1) Look into the eyes of the person speaking as you hear their words.

2) Nod, smile, move your head a bit, gently lean toward the speaker, raise your eyebrows slightly from time to time. These tiny incremental non-verbal gestures say “I want to hear more”.

3) Keep your body language open. Don’t cross your legs or arms, have your body congruent with your facial features. You’ll send a mixed message to the speaker if your face says “more” and your body says “enough!”.

4) As a listener, there are actually some things you can say to help the speaker. An occasional “ah”, or “hmm” or “I see” is helpful. If a speaker is stuck, you can ask “so what happened next?” or “so what did you do then?”. Then remember to shut up and listen.

5) Some “don’ts”; don’t look at your watch while someone is speaking, look at it while you’re speaking, and no one will care. Don’t hurry someone along, don’t complete their sentences, empty your mind of conclusions as much as possible. Don’t look at others, don’t look at the sky, don’t scan the horizon. Focus on the person, and you’ll communicate value. Period.

I’ve realized over the years people have an intense desire to be heard, and they’ll talk to those who truly listen. Some folks will flat out talk your ears off, and getting out of a listening situation is as much a skill as listening itself. Some folks will not be helped by listening, they just won’t. Some folks I listen to in order to learn. Some folks I listen to in order to avoid their mistakes. Some folks I listen to knowing that only God can change and help them. 

There are individuals who will be transformed by being heard, and my listening will change their lives. There are others who’ll never change yet my listening is still a ministry to them; it’s a form of spiritual hospice and I provide this often.

Enough talk from me! I gotta go listen.

Peace y’all,

Cary Branscum 

Growing up in the country has advantages, including the offhanded, passed-around, often unconscious bits of  country-smarts you can pick up if you listen. Or as we used to say “if you take a mind to”.

Here’s 3 that pass the test of years:

“Don’t Shoot the Horse Till You Can Drive the Tractor”

How many times I’ve wanted to change people, situations, and things. How many times I’ve wanted to give people a piece of my mind, then just clear out and go elsewhere. Folks, burning bridges is a serious high-cost luxury most of us can’t afford. Quitting a job, a relationship, or a challenge before it’s achieved poses problems. I’ve noticed in my own experience, God and life keep presenting lessons till I’ve learned them. Shoot the old plowhorse and then the tractor won’t start? Makes both plowing and life difficult. And it’s not so good for the horse.

“You Need to Learn C’mere from Sic’em”

Always had dogs on the farm. Hard to imagine a life in the country without these fantastic animals. They sometimes have a brilliance and empathy that rivals many humans. Occasionally they get confused. So do we. Things can happen so fast, get so busy that dogs and people get confused, and run back to the owner when they need to face a task, or run to a task instead of coming to the owner. It pays for dogs and people to take a moment in any situation, and learn the difference between “come here and sic ‘em”.

“Never Look a Gift Horse In The Mouth”

Another lesson that includes horses. I’m not the sharpest knife in the drawer, and didn’t really “get” this one till a few years ago. Folks can tell the age and condition of a horse by the health of the teeth. If you’re buying a horse, looking at their teeth only makes sense. If someone gives you a horse, it’s bad form to check the teeth. I mean, come one, it’s FREE. Why communicate mistrust to the gift giver by questioning the value of the gift? If someone offers me something I either give an instant polite refusal or graciously accept the gift. You can look at the teeth later.

Now, thar ya go, how’s that for some country wisdom?

Peace y’all,

Cary Branscum

I am beyond blessed to have friends with faith and many friends with different faith or none. I embrace them all (at least when I’m not sweaty from yard work).

We see the world through our own lens, my lens is the work I do to help build community at The Hills Church of Christ inFort Worth,Texas. It’s my dream that every person everywhere finds a place to be part of a small group in some context- it’s that’s important.

 Here’s why:

 We’re wired to belong, to be with other people. I’m amazed how many lone rangers there are in the world; those who have some family or work connections, but few genuine “hey, here’s who I really am” relationships. We not only survive but thrive when we “run in packs”. We’re wired to share who we are with people who accept us and care about us. We thrive when we belong.

 We need to give and receive personal, emotional, spiritual and financial resources. The early Christian community had all things common, and we’re quick to object to this practice today. We fail to realize there are times when we feel more human, more fully alive when we share what we have – sometimes in sacrificial ways. The culture and economy are chaotic, we learn to cope in this environment by realizing we’re not alone, there are others struggling, and we can help each other. And there are times when we learn the humbling lesson that others can share their resources with us.

 We need to feel valued. The many worlds we live in call for segmented lives and identities: employer, employee, consumer, citizen, mom, dad, son, daughter – all good things yet only segments of who we are. A small group can help us feel whole again, by seeing each person as the priceless, complex individuals we are.

 Elton Trueblood, a theologian of the past century wrote in 1943 “True community, true fellowship is indeed a rare and precious thing”.  Here’s hoping you find some.

 Peace  y’all,

CaryBranscum

Been a book lover all my life. Still love ‘em, and found the Kindle experience makes the books I love (both old and new) even better. If you have a Kindle, I’m preaching to the choir, if you’re on the fence, I hope to sway you, if you don’t want one, at least give these reasons a look:

-139 bucks won’t kill ya, that’s what a low end Kindle costs, and you can get about 20 bucks off that if you get the bottom end model that runs occasional ads. I have the 139 Kindle, I don’t want ads.

-It fits and goes literally anywhere, slips into a large pocket in a jacket, slips unobtrusively into my thin leather briefbag.

-You can choose the print and size you like, and this makes for a more pleasurable reading experience than you realize.

-It’s not backlit like an Ipad, so it’s restful and easy on the eyes. If you have an Ipad and like to read books on it, go for it.

-More and more books are made available every day. No, not all the books I want/love are on Kindle, not yet.

-I’ve discovered books and writers, not only bestsellers but very cool, obscure, and ancient writing I’d only seen in crumbly yellow hard to read editions.

-It’s six times easier to read a Kindle outside and/or in bed than a regular book. No glare, its light, no propping open pages, no angling for light.

-Carry your own personal library around in one dedicated device.

-Unlike my beloved Iphone, the battery charge on a Kindle lasts a seriously long time.

-It is awesome getting a book instantly.

-you can highlight text easily, and refer to it later. It does take some getting used to, and it’s not as fast as underlining with a pen or highlighter, but it’s neat and more fun once you get the hang of it.

-It’s just cool.

I do have lots of hardcopy books I’ll keep forever. Sometimes the physicality of the book, the object itself is what you want. Me too, just know the Kindle adds another world to the book/reading experience.

Peace y’all,

Cary Branscum

Time is a thief, it takes away. Time is also a bestower of gifts. Time marks our life’s passage, it happens to everyone and you receive the same amount of it today everyone else receives. No one has any more (or less) time than you do. Use it.

Our culture orders the day into 24 segments and there is power in each hour. Keep this in mind; the really IMPORTANT STUFF in life is usually done each day. We deal with the past and let it go, we reach toward the future in terms of plans, dreams, values, and goals.

Here’s some ways to tap into the Power of 1 Hour:

-Work 1 Hour on a project you dread, fear, avoid. Just 1 hour, then quit. You can do this for an hour can’t you? Set a timer, set an alarm. You can endure an hour.

-Spend 1 Hour totally focused on someone you love/care about. Life is way short. When was the last time to you spent an entire hour giving your eyes, ears, your heart, your conversation, your attendance and attention to one person? To God? It’s a life-changer.

-Focus 1 Hour of concentrated reflection on your life direction. Evaluate your work progress, your relationships to God and others. How’s it going? Take the hour to stop, take a breath, meditate, reflect.

-Take 1 Hour to enjoy a great meal. The slow food movement will likely never take hold in American culture, but you can do this occasionally. A great simple unhurried meal sharing talking and laughing with family/friends is awesome. 

-Take 1 hour for a nap. Ah. All these suggestions work best when you’re fresh, a nap helps! A nap is mastery over the environment, it’s a luxury and a blessing. Less than hour is fine, just devote an hour to the “nap process”; getting quiet and comfortable, dozing off, the nap itself, then an unhurried awakening. Presto! A New YOU!

Peace y’all,

Cary Branscum  

Mentioned to someone I enjoy reading the Psalms. They looked at me and asked “why?”.  Easy answer; there’s a lot of Life in the Psalms, many were written as “songs of ascent” for ancient pilgrims to Jerusalem. The Psalms deal with the daily gritty realities of existence.

Here’s 5 Lifepoints that jump out of Psalms 39: 1-6

1)  Take Heed To My Ways. It’s amazing how many good folks go through life like a ping pong or pinball, moving with little reflection from sensation to sensation. Time invested in self-evaluation is golden.

2) Keep Your Mouth.  I need to take two beats and think before speaking, and maybe five or ten beats if it’s a conflict situation. Sometimes it’s best just to keep it to yourself – acknowledge and deal with it, but words can’t be taken back.

3) Seek To Know Your End.  At 60, there are fewer years ahead than behind and this is strangely comforting. Some things I’ll never have to do again – Yay! How will my life end up if I stay on my present course? It’s worth some consideration, no?

4) Know the Measure Of Your Days.  Do you waste time or invest it? If you died tonight, have you really lived today? How do you measure/evaluate your life? What standards do you use? Are you living a passionate balanced life? It’s possible and achievable by you. Trust me on this.

5) Be Not Disquieted In Vain.  Here’s a confession; I absolutely wasted time, energy, concern and drama over things that make no difference at all. Period. It’s a human thing to do, and it’s really stupid. No more. I’m done with that. I’m not letting anything petty steal my joy or peace of mind. I’ll get excited and invest myself in things that matter.

That’s it, thanks for readin’

Peace y’all,

Cary Branscum

Besides all the great human need in the world today, here’s a random list that might get you rolling to better, more important things.

Listen to someone. Smile in the rain. Help a person achieve their vision. Get a stub of pencil, a little spiral notebook and take notes. Type on a typewriter. Wear sunglasses. Throw a book into your pocket, read something. Chop firewood. Carve a ship from a bar of soap.

Agree with a friend’s opinions, no matter how off they are. Work leather. Welcome immigrants. Fiddle with things (alternative to this: putter around). Sit in a chair by a window. Trim crepe myrtle bushes. Do something for joy instead of money. Nod to strangers. Clean tools. Sit through something to the very end. Be the last one to leave.

Make someone’s dreams come true. Write a letter. Throw away all your pens that won’t write. Polish chrome. Make yourself indispensible. See your way clear.

Be the nicest person someone ever met. Work up a horrific sweat then take a nice shower. Move to a smaller house in a nicer area. Make people glad to know you. Notice details. In the camp of life, claim your place at the fire.

Now, there ya go. That’ll get ya rollin’.

Peace ya’ll,

Cary Branscum

Busy-ness serves many functions, but it’s not a pace you can continue forever nor is it desirable to do so. I’ve had an extremely busy summer, now I’m re-entering a world I’ve missed; the world of reading books. If you’re an avid reader, I’m preaching to the choir. If you’re not hooked on reading, here’s something you may be missing.

Readers gain 4 Additional Lives, here they are:

 The YOU engaged in the reading process. Folks can read in many different settings; home,  subway, long trips, planes, trains, and automobiles. I knew a college professor who read while stopped for traffic lights. He’d read till someone honked (this is not recommended).  The YOU engaged in reading, holding the book or Kindle, the visual and mental focus, this adds up to an additional life.

 The YOU interacting with the text, including all your feelings, thoughts and experiences, is an immersion in another world, perhaps another time and place. Books and reading take us away via the magic of words, yet physically leave us right where we need to be at the moment.

The YOU “projected” into the text. A good read can give us the opportunity to be ourselves yet be someone else at the same time. It’s a form of transport, allowing us freedom to become a character or participant in the world created by the text. I’ve been to mountaintops, deserts, jungles, and flown to other worlds while remaining comfortably in my chair.

The life of the author. What?  How is this an additional life? Writing a book is a challenging, onerous task. While most writers are readers, not all readers are writers. I have this little blog, do some writing in my work, and keep journal notes. That’s it. If you are an aspiring writer, my hat’s off to you, but I’ll never join your ranks.  The world entered via reading was created by the author, it’s the product after an intense investment of time and effort. The life of the author is invested in the work, and the reader reaps the benefit.

Thanks forREADING!

Peace ya’ll,

CaryBranscum

Jean Barnes Books in Oklahoma City was a booklover’s dream for decades. In the last quarter of the 20th century I began adult worklife as youth minister for a lovely church just down the street from Jean Barnes.  Small and  family owned, the shop was packed cozily from floor to ceiling with a dazzling range of offerings. Tomes of theology unavailable elsewhere begged to be bought and read. Psychology, philosophy, mental health, business and professional books, the best fiction and nonfiction packed this tiny store.  Worlds and offerings, knowledge, ideas, the stuff of life; all were available.

The Barnes and Wood families were always on hand, and knew every book inside and out. It was one of those places with a little bronze bell on the door. You entered to the fragrance of Sir Walter Raleigh pipe tobacco and fresh coffee. And swirling in the midst of smoke and fragrance, the ever bracing smell of new books.

Change happens everywhere, and the internet became the chosen means for buying and selling books, the big box bookstores hit town, it’s the old story.

Today, only a vacant shell and faded sign remain as mute testimony, but my heart skips a beat and writes a palimpsest of joyful lost afternoons exploring worlds that - with enough hard work, faith, and courage - might become my own.

Glad to say, David Wood (a member of the original family) runs a publishing company, with the lovely name WoodNBarnes, an homage to his family heritage http://woodnbarnes.com/

There are many wonderful bookstores in the world, and I love just about all of them. Millions of people visit bookstores, but no one is more grateful than I am.

Peace y’all,

Cary Branscum